Tuesday, September 25, 2012

A Little "Crazy" Is a Good Thing to Be!

On set with Jennifer Coolidge

I have the strange feeling that I am actually insane. I live so far away from the cul-de-sac I grew up on back in Philadelphia.  I work for hours in my one bedroom apartment to perfect the tiniest bits of dialogue while facing down a mountain of rejection. If I am lucky, I get hired to work for a few glorious days of creative bliss to produce a few minutes of a performance.  Who chooses this way of living?

Yeah... that's a little bit crazy. Who knows? Maybe a little bit of crazy is not a bad thing if it makes you happy.

The funny thing is watching the end result of all my work on "2 Broke Girls" was no momentous occasion compared to the feeling I had actually doing the work to get there. Today, with all my running around, was really not about me at all. Yes, I did the performance as brief as it was, but today was more for my mum, my siblings and even my friends. I was calling everyone I could think of because today was their chance to share in the joy I had. Does that make any sense? If I go on an ego trip for this role, I am not insane, I am certifiable. Yes, my ego remains well intact.

I mean, really. I sat home by myself and watched it and "blink, blink." it was done. 15 minutes later, I headed out the door to help my friend Scott with an audition he has on "Grey's Anatomy." Believe it or not, our working on his audition piece was so enjoyable, I forgot about everything else until I headed home.

On set with Garrett Morris
I got a ton of well wishes from family and friends with text after text of congratulations. I can say without question, I have really great people in my life. I am so grateful to be blessed with family and friends who could get that four or five lines of a funny scene I got to do, while not exactly a leading role, meant something to me. You would have thought I won an academy award! Now that is support.

I decided after my last gig that I would accept well wishes with as much grace as I can and stop downplaying the small stuff because these small parts are invaluable. They are the gifts the Universe are sending to lead me to the next wonderful experience. Each event in my life, is valued and treated with meaning and respect because they are all a part of this life I am creating. I want every moment to matter. Not in an egotistical way but in a grateful living in the present kind of appreciation.

Once again, I am reminded that it is the journey not the destination that matters. It was more fun remembering the experience and the thrill of being in the moment than it was in watching the taped capturing of what we all did on a soundstage a few weeks back.. Don't get me wrong, tonight I felt great. I feel like I had a small career victory. I'm sure many would look at my small part as no biggie - "Much ado about nothing."

However, for a few moments, my mum saw her son doing what he loves. I know my mum is always proud of me. But... she is "my mum"  and there is no one more important to me in the entire world!! I want her to know her little "Yankee Boy" is going to be okay. Each career victory I have, allows her to worry just a little bit less about her youngest child. My successes are a tiny "thank you" to her for all the sacrifices she made coming to America so I could have a better life than she did.

Even my brothers, sister, nieces and nephews can have a small understanding of why I am doing what I do so far away from home. They may think I am a bit crazy, and maybe I am. Yet, they still know I am happier than I have ever been. Each little victory in my life means something because it is something I get to share with them.

Okay... It is late, I am rambling and feeling the adrenaline of the day slowly drifting away. My bed is calling. This station stop in my creative journey is over. Time to head on to whatever lies ahead.

Tonight I sleep content.  In the morning I will awaken, refreshed and ready to enjoy another day.

Life is great. 

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