Thursday, October 18, 2012


(Music can capture my feelings in ways words alone can never fully express.)

I spoke to mum today. I am happy to report she is doing much much better. This has been the most stressful time of my life, par none. I cannot imagine what she was feeling.

Michael (bro), Andrea (sis), Mum, Me and Cecil (bro)
I never allowed myself to truly think of what life would be like without mum but this situation forced me to face it head on. I learned a great deal about myself and the importance of my family. I always loved my mum and siblings but the depth of those family ties are so much more palpable. In some strange way, I feel as if my sense of self has been altered. What this new self will be like remains to be seen.

For the first time today I could hear mum sound like herself. She still has pain but I truly believe her stronger nature has returned and she is firmly on the road to recovery. I have been calling her every day at least once a day. Today I caught her just before she was preparing to move from her hospital to a physical therapy center. No, she is not going home yet. However, if she is strong enough to start therapy that can only be a good sign. It turns out she has a compound fracture, re-injuring her spine. Her physical therapy will clearly be no joke but I have faith she will make it through. I told her she better channel her inner Wonder Woman and get her exercise on! She laughed and promised to give it her all. She may be 85 but my mum is a fighter.

I will not lie. I have been an emotional wreck through all of this. I decided to simply feel whatever came up and focus on the "knowingness" that good news was inevitable.

Today I took my first real deep breath. Life teaches you lessons whether you are prepared for it or not. I am so grateful I have more time to appreciate and celebrate the cherished gift of family that is very easy to take for granted as we go about the challenges of daily living.   


  1. I am happy to hear that your mum is doing better. I know what you mean about not wanting to think about life without your mum. My dad past away four years ago and it really felt like a part of me died with him. So I hope things continue to well for your mum!!

  2. I sorry for your loss. Thank you. I have decided to focus on the positive, continue to enjoy every moment and make sure she does the same!