"What's For You, Is For You..."

I think I am hours away from a total system crash. I am so sleepy I can taste it!

A busy day for sure. I enjoyed today's adventure, putting two more good auditions under my belt. I worked my butt off last night and this morning trying to perfect performances for two completely different characters.  It was a definite brain drainer.

I rehearsed with an actor friend which proved to be invaluable. No matter how much training you have, acting doesn't take place in a bubble so preparation for an audition can't either. There is just so far you can take a piece on your own. Having another pair of eyes gives you feedback you may never have considered. My friend Scott was amazing! He gave me a point of view that sparked my imagination and helped me to refine and improve acting choices. I finished exhausted last night but confident.  I left him to go home and allow my preparation to, like a fine wine, ferment and breathe in my imagination/emotional body.

I woke this morning feeling as prepared as possible.




With every audition, I am continuing to learn and grow. You have to work like crazy so you can hopefully create a little bit of magic that captures the eye of the casting, producers, or director so they are willing to take a chance on you. I think the biggest challenge is to enjoy the audition for what it is and let go of the desire to "Book it". I did my best. The rest is out of my hands. It's the "out of my hands" part that is slowly becoming easier to accept.


My mum always says, "Don't worry. What is for you is for you."

Ahhh... The great unknown.
I welcome whatever roles are for me,  to come to me...
sooner rather than later.:)  

Staying Focused, Making The Most of Opportunities

I have to say, as I have gotten more focused, more opportunities are presenting themselves. Starting this blog has been very helpful in keeping me thinking about what is most important.

I am happy to say I have another double audition day tomorrow. Both are relatively close to each other so, cross city travel is not an issue. The challenge for tomorrow is putting in the work tonight on both roles and being disciplined enough tomorrow to not allow one role to bleed into the other. The funny thing is the roles are polar opposites in almost every way. One a cop and husband in a dramatic film and the other a bitchy dog pageant "papa" not above blackmail in a television comedy.  I am blessed and grateful.


It is all an exciting adventure. Opportunities are opening up now that remind me you bring into your life that which you focus your thoughts on. I look forward to getting myself back on another set very, very soon. I trust things are falling into place to take my dreams and my career further down the road of happiness.

Time to get back to my rehearsing.:)   

The Days of the "Friendship Martyr" Are Over

If anyone thinks I am some "ra ra" dreamer whose life is all roses and sunshine, I assure you I am not.

One challenge I have been addressing in my life these days is putting myself and my path first. Sometimes friends can disappoint you. Some people can be supportive and some can be toxic. I realized that if someone enjoys making you feel stupid or inferior, that is not something you need to internalize. That is in all cases their issue that they are basically "throwing up" onto you. Folks can be hurtful with their words and their careless disregard for your feelings. Nevertheless the only power you have is in your response to these people and situations.

A friend triggered some issues with me. It stayed in my head for the entire weekend- mainly because I realized that this guy enjoys being a jerk to people. I have always been aware of this fact. I didn't acknowledge how much over time it has been poisoning my spirit. I wasted so much time over the weekend going over and over in my brain the humiliation he "unknowingly" vomited into my evening. I mentally obsessed over this incident like a tape I could not stop. It is only today that I truly accepted that this was the greatest gift I could have been given.



I learned that I can choose to waste days of my life stewing over hurt feelings and assigning blame or I can realize that the actions of others have no power to affect me unless I let it. This is not an easy thing to do but it is necessary. If someone chooses to inflict their unhappiness onto you, recognize it is their unhappiness not yours. You teach people how to treat you and people tell you who they are through their actions not their words. Recognize what "they are telling you" and what "you are teaching them" or you are setting yourself up for drama.

I have spent a lot of time putting up with crap from folks I call friends. For my part I take responsibility because, I am no victim. My days of being the "friendship martyr" are officially over. I have cleansed myself of a few "dysfunctional" friendships that turned toxic this year. In times past this would have been unthinkable, not anymore. Something seems to be finally waking up within me. I now understand that simply because someone says "I am sorry" it means nothing if their actions show it was just talk. My challenge is to keep all this junk in perspective.

When friends get "toxic" it is okay to step back and de-tox. I must always be the guardian of my own psyche. My journey has its own share of challenges. I intend to minimize the "dysfunctional" crap that may fly my way, figure out what lesson I am attracting, then getting myself back on track.

 

Hoping "Nina Simone" Is In My Future!

Life is a mysterious adventure. A few days ago, I mentioned how I was so happy I heard the Nina Simone song "Feeling Good" playing in my head as I walked to my car. Well, it is weird but I just got an audition to play the role of Nina Simone's husband in a film about her.

Wow, that is cool. I know that I drew this audition into my life. It would be great if I drew the actual job into my life as well! Who knows what the future may bring?  It would be beyond fantastic to book this job!

Send positive vibes my way!!

Brene Brown's "Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead"

While preparing for yesterday's audition, I decided to tape an episode of Katie Couric's new talk show just to see what she was all about. I happened to tape a show that seemed to really speak to my way of thinking. A behavioral researcher named Dr. Brene Brown wrote a book called "Daring Greatly" that addressed the idea of how when we face the difficult task of embracing what makes us vulnerable, we end up living braver lives and as a result more fulfilling joyful lives.

She apparently has made some popular on-line clips that empower folks to live more joyful lives. I think I am going to investigate her and her ideas more. It is a philosophy that can not only help me grow as an artist but as a person as well. This book is definitely going on my 2012 reading list!

You have to watch this clip below from YouTube posted by TEDtalks! I think you might find it fun and inspiring without all the "woo woo"!

An Audition At Paramount Studios Has Me "Feeling Good"...

I love acting! Yes, it has its ups and downs, but with every audition I am once more reminded that I am so lucky to be pursuing my dreams. So when I have a GREAT audition, the feeling is pure ELATION!

This time around, I auditioned for the same casting director for the same show that I auditioned for the last two times at 20th Century Fox. I clearly made a positive impression. For whatever reasons, this audition was held in her casting office on the Paramount Studios lot. I was actually happy with this change because I live so much closer to Paramount Studios in Hollywood than to 20th Century Fox Studios in West Los Angeles. I literally saved myself a half hour to forty-five minutes driving time during rush hour.:)

I walked into the audition and just did my thing! I got laughs and such favorable feedback that I know I am developing my reputation with casting in a positive direction. I did my best so no regrets.

As I left, I decided to walk across the lot, take in the scenery and leave from a different gate. I had a pep in my step and almost like my own mental music video, I strutted to my car with the sounds of Nina Simone's "Feeling Good" playing in my head as if my brain had its own i-pod.

Yes, I have a vivid imagination. It keeps me going and continues to remind me that "Life is Great"!  

Slow and Steady...

I know I am in the early stages of my fitness overhaul  but, man! I am ready to move to the "exercise is invigorating" phase. Every ounce of my body is sore, tight, and completely exhausted. I want to sleep the rest of the week away. While that may be enjoyable, I doubt it is practical. Hey, I can still dream!

Using my Iron Gym Upper Body Workout Bar is humbling but slow and steady will bring the results I want and need.:)










Getting healthy and in great shape is not as easy as flipping a switch but it is a good investment.