“No Matter How Hard It Gets, You Are Not Alone”

This is the article from the June 2018 issue of my newsletter. Reviewing these articles, it is becoming clear how being a Nichiren Buddhist was the lifeline that has gotten me through this period of grieving.

“No Matter How Hard It Gets, You Are Not Alone”      How My Buddhist Practice is Deepening By Listening to My Fellow District Members.”                                                                                                         by Kevin D’Arcy

If you have been following my journey in prior articles you will understand the challenges I have been wrestling with in 2018.

Losing both my parents has, to be honest, messed with my head. Grief is a strange experience as it comes and goes of its own accord.  I thought I was handling it and then I lost suddenly a good friend who was a wonderfully kind and caring actress.  She went to the hospital not feeling well. She was admitted in for tests and while the tests were being processed, she passed away in her sleep, unaware that she in fact had been living with lymphoma.

Something about this loss left me feeling hollow.  I once again questioned why all this was happening and could do little more than just cry myself to sleep.

I emailed folks and planned to stay home and avoid people so I did not need to put on a happy face.  It was a Friday afternoon when my buddy Susan Harris called to offer her condolences and after a brief chat I went from planning to go into hiding into deciding to chant on Saturday morning with the Men’s Division.  Before I went to bed, I read some articles that my friend Shele Sondheim passed on to me via LA Yoga magazine. Initially, I read the magazine because I knew I’d be meeting Shele at Men’s Division on Saturday.  To my surprise, Shele’s articles reminded me of the value of yoga in general and  Bikram Yoga specifically for me. I found myself discovering  Bikram Yoga NoHo online.

Saturday morning I woke up and dragged myself to Men’s Division toso, where I met up with Shele and Paul Candace.  After the meeting we bumped into fellow district member Byron Cohen. The four of us decided to go to the little courtyard for a little coffee and conversation.  I mentioned how I was feeling about losing my friend and how I was inspired to restart my Bikram Yoga practice and address my pre-diabetes issues head on. I also expressed how frustrated I was feeling with regard to my practice. Shele and Byron shared with me their perspectives. Something Byron shared with me stuck. My interpretation of what he was saying is instead of chanting with the idea of what am I going to get, chant before my gohonzon so that the “me” that views my life through the eyes of my own delusions etc, slowly reveals the “ME” that is Divine or my Buddha Nature.  Looking  at chanting from this perspective, then I can also look at all the events going on in my life, and see meaning in the events and what they are revealing to me. 

I did this for myself and found a great deal of clarity. From this “new perspective” I saw that I am being guided to stop ignoring my pre-diabetes and instead fight to eliminate the possibility of becoming a diabetic by getting healthier mentally and physically. Bikram is my first step.

Consciously and unconsciously, my fellow district members have helped me view the circumstances I am living in from a different perspective. Thank you to you all.