"FRINGE" says Goodbye...

 The time has finally come....

The two-hour series finale of "Fringe" airs tonight. I cannot wait! Yet... I don't want it to be over. There are so few shows that really capture my imagination, especially on network television, like this one did.

I wanted so badly to get a role... any role on this fantastic show but alas, it was not meant to be.




I am excited to experience this final adventure and see how things come together!

Battery Recharged.

Ahh.... I have been acclimating myself back to Los Angeles after spending a few short days over the Christmas holidays with my family. There is something perhaps in our DNA that makes tribal ties so profound. I did little during my trip back to Philadelphia but cook, play cards, laugh and simply enjoy the "everydayness" of being with my mum, sister, brothers and nieces and nephew. I felt like I reset my internal clock and now I can deal once more with all the emotional ups and downs of following my dreams.

Coming back, I realized that so much of my stress has been self-induced. Watching my mother work her way back to health reminds me that life is full of miracles when you open your eyes to see them. When I see my sister doing all that she is doing to help my mum recover as she deals with her own life, I am reminded that we all have vast amounts of inner strength available to us when we really need it.

I left Los Angeles, wondering how I was going to cope with 2013. Everything was stressing me out. I returned to Philadelphia with some degree of guilt that my sister was doing so much, while I was on the other side of the country "pursuing my dreams". My goal was to give her a break and do all I could to empower my mum to keep fighting. I found myself cooking all of these healthy dishes and feeling this overwhelming joy at being able to do things to help my family. It is strange being the youngest in the family because no matter how old you get you are the "baby". So coming home this time was less about me sitting around relaxing and more actively engaging in making everyone else relax from all the stress of my mum's accident.     

To say I had an amazing time at home would be an understatement. I connected with my nephew Zen and he taught me how easy it is to become addicted to PS3. I am very tempted to get PS3 so I can finish  playing Assassin's Creed III. Bonding with Zen helped me rediscover my role in the family. I think there is something about being far away that messes with your head that can only be reset by going home..

Leaving was tough but we made the most of the time I was there. I know I need to make sure I go home regularly if only for the sake of my sanity. 

For a week I could not stay awake after 7:30 p.m. Finally, I am back on west coast time with my battery recharged and ready for the adventure 2013 has in store for me.

Apartment Living During The Holidays!

I have lived in the same apartment for quite a while. It never ceases to amaze me how excited our manager's wife gets during the holidays! She decorates as if her life depended upon it. Halloween is filled with creepy goblins, skeletons  and motion sensor triggered witches cackling as we enter or exit the apartment complex.

I must say the first time Rusty and I went out for his walk and got surprised by the sudden witch's scream, we both nearly jumped out of our skin. I later found it humorous. Rusty was not amused. Unfortunately she always puts up her decorations so early, by the time Halloween actually rolled around the battery was so low the witches cackle sounded more like a warped record on its final death spiral.

Tonight, she is working on her Christmas display. We have a light show of Santa and his reindeer dangling front the roof over the courtyard. This year, they went all out with some sort of life size air blown plastic holiday characters singing Christmas carols and playing instruments. It definitely puts you in the holiday spirit.

I generally gave up on decorating my apartment about two years into living here. I bought a live Christmas tree and decorations, the whole nine yards. When I was finally done I thought why did I do all of this? It is just me and now there are pine needles everywhere, my fingers are in shreds and I need to water this monstrosity before it turns into a fire hazard.  Oiy! Now I leave it up to our resident decorator to do her thing and I appreciate the holidays from afar. I think I am the only resident who doesn't light up there living room window with the holiday schtick. Today a large plastic candy cane was shoved into my potted lemon tree I have been growing outside my front door. I guess that means I am participating.:)


I know I know I sound like a grinch but I am really not. I just hate decorating my apartment for the holidays. I do however enjoy the enthusiasm our Manager's wife takes in making our complex have a feel of "Home".
   

My Scene on "2 Broke Girls" on CBS Website

While I was surfing the net I discovered that my scene from "2 Broke Girls" has been used as a clip on the CBS website. That was cool to see!

As I am playing the audition/waiting game I might as well celebrate whatever brings me joy as often as I can. The alternative is slipping into the usual actor's depression that comes with the territory but must be resisted as much as possible.

I realized this week that if I am not vigilant at focusing on the positive, it is way too easy to fall into the negative. When this happens, it is amazing how much negative reinforcement you hear from those around you. We speak in the negative so regularly, that it feels like the norm instead of simply negative thinking.  I really can't afford to stay in that negative frame of mind for long or it will affect EVERYTHING!

So enjoy this clip with my brief appearance and hold a good thought for me! Thought has power!:)

Eating Through The Holiday Blahs...

Well, I am happy to say that getting my diet in better shape has gotten me feeling much better. I decided to get back to basics and eat more of the food I grew up with, so I am rediscovering all things curry! I have had more variations of curry and roti in the last few days than I have in a while and surprisingly, I am feeling much better. I think the influx of turmeric in my system has burned out whatever germs were keeping me sick. I am even dropping off the pounds!

Exercising is a bit hit or miss but getting slowly more consistent.

Once I take a break and see my family for the Xmas holidays, I have a feeling I will be completely back on track. Auditions have slowed a bit as we approach the holidays so I am a little stir crazy.

Ah well... Life is great and the future looks exciting.

Recalibrating My System

Well... I haven't been on-line or interested in doing any posting for the last month or so. I never gave much thought to the actual effect one's emotions and mental state have on their body but this month has forced me to get back into balance.

Clearly, my mum's health scare had a big impact on my psyche and body. Mum is still in the rehabilitation center learning to walk again and getting stronger. Talking on the phone I can tell she is itching to get home and back to her life. I am looking forward to visiting her and the whole family at Christmas time. My sister has been amazing taking charge of things making mum's recovery and return home her priority. I wish I was in a position to be more helpful but all I can do is be a source of emotional support.

The strange thing is, since hearing my mum is getting better, my body seems to have decided to go down for the count. I have been fighting off what feels like an endless cold, congestion and complete feeling of exhaustion. I am sleeping more and better but I have not felt healthy in a long time.

Exercise and healthier eating have been the themes of the month but I haven't felt the benefits yet. It could be that I just need to get out of Los Angeles for a bit and "recalibrate my engines" like only a trip back to Philly can do.

I am looking forward to the holidays so much I can taste it.

I am rambling. Time for a nap...

OH HAPPY DAY!!

(Music can capture my feelings in ways words alone can never fully express.)

I spoke to mum today. I am happy to report she is doing much much better. This has been the most stressful time of my life, par none. I cannot imagine what she was feeling.

Michael (bro), Andrea (sis), Mum, Me and Cecil (bro)

I never allowed myself to truly think of what life would be like without mum but this situation forced me to face it head on. I learned a great deal about myself and the importance of my family. I always loved my mum and siblings but the depth of those family ties are so much more palpable. In some strange way, I feel as if my sense of self has been altered. What this new self will be like remains to be seen.

For the first time today I could hear mum sound like herself. She still has pain but I truly believe her stronger nature has returned and she is firmly on the road to recovery. I have been calling her every day at least once a day. Today I caught her just before she was preparing to move from her hospital to a physical therapy center. No, she is not going home yet. However, if she is strong enough to start therapy that can only be a good sign. It turns out she has a compound fracture, re-injuring her spine. Her physical therapy will clearly be no joke but I have faith she will make it through. I told her she better channel her inner Wonder Woman and get her exercise on! She laughed and promised to give it her all. She may be 85 but my mum is a fighter.

I will not lie. I have been an emotional wreck through all of this. I decided to simply feel whatever came up and focus on the "knowingness" that good news was inevitable.

Today I took my first real deep breath. Life teaches you lessons whether you are prepared for it or not. I am so grateful I have more time to appreciate and celebrate the cherished gift of family that is very easy to take for granted as we go about the challenges of daily living.