Prayers/Vibes of Love for my Niece/Goddaughter in the Hospital

 I'm writing this post because I need to do something to help when I feel unable to do anything.

My niece/goddaughter, Andrea was hit by a car in Philadelphia last night. She is in the hospital, still unconscious. She was bleeding in her brain and doctors gave her something to sleep with the hope her brain swelling will subside and she will wake up on her own.

Andrea is still in her twenties and has too much life left to live!

I don't like feeling powerless. I am stuck in  Los Angeles so all I can do is pray and hold good thoughts that she has a full and speedy recovery. 

 

I believe in the power of thought and miracles. I am sending this "message in a bottle" asking that anyone out there who reads this post say a prayer if you pray or simply send a healing vibe or hold a good thought for my niece's recovery.

I KNOW SHE IS GOING TO PULL THROUGH!


Thanks in advance.

Live Your Life With Arms Wide Open with Theme Song of The Week "Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield!

Sometimes a song speaks to you. The lyrics hit you at the right time with a rhythm that sets you on your feet and you just know life is gonna be alright.

I have heard this song before but I admit I never listened to the words. But today, I listened to Natasha Bedingfield sing. I heard the words and could not help but feel just a little inspired. Hence my theme song of the week was found! It's definitely a call to "Live Your Life With Arms Wide Open!"

"Unwritten"

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Oh, oh, oh

I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten

Oh, yeah, yeah

Remembering Robin Williams with Laughter

While it is deeply sad accepting the news of Robin Williams' passing, I want to focus on the endless laughter he brought to my life and the life of millions around the world.

I found this old clip of Robin Williams that had me laughing, which I know is how he would want to be remembered. Take a look at the click and celebrate his genius.

Rest In Peace Robin Williams

I'm saddened by news that the incredibly talented Robin Williams is dead at the age of 63 from an apparent suicide. I received a text from a friend and just could not believe it. I heard nothing about it on the tv news but a few things are up om the internet.

As I am writing this, ABC just mentioned the news.

He suffered from severe depression. It is sad when someone dies of a terminal disease or old age but when it is suicide, your heart cannot help but break for him and his family.   

Robin Williams was always a man I admired for the sheer genius of his talent. "Mork and Mindy", "Mrs. Doubtfire", "The Birdcage", there are so many moments he created that touched my heart and lifted my spirits when I needed it. I am simply stunned. What a tragic and sudden loss.   He will be missed.

This is one of those moments you stop in your tracks and remember what is most important in life.

Rest In Peace, Mr. Williams.

Defiantly Sappy with ThisTheme Song of The Week: So Close from Disney's "Enchanted"

Yes, I am a sap. I love romance. I love LOVE SONGS and fairy tales and all those silly things that allow you to secretly hope for true love to enter your life like in the movies.

That said, I got a real kick out of watching Amy Adams in "Enchanted". This song touched my heart and simply reminded me of how I felt when I was in love deeply and kind of rekindles the hope I will find that love again.

Sue me. I'm ready for love again and  despite my temptation to let life make me jaded, songs like this remind me to hold on to hope that LOVE is just around the corner..

Theme Song of The Week: Whitney Houston's "One Moment In Time"

I just came through to th other side of a very stressful and challenging situation. The experience reminded me that anything worth having is worth working very hard to achieve.  This most especially applies to my acting career.

That said, my theme song of the week is Whitney Houston's "One Moment in Time".

Food for thought: Finding the Nobility of Living

I love this video series. It continues to inspire me.

I believe whether we are ultimately worm food, there is a nobility to life.  We have an opportunity to construct our lives into an adventure to whatever extent we can before we die and get the answer of is there a continuum beyond this life experience.

I say, what comes after this life is not as important as making the most of the time I get to live in the NOW.

July: Month End Check in on 2014 Goals

These last few months have been quite challenging. I fell off on tracking my progress on my 2014 goals. However, the beauty of life is you can always pick yourself up and continue forward.

1. Confession time. I have been absorbed with a writing project with a friend that has taken up much of my free time and sanity for the last few months. The good thing is it reminded me of my love of writing. Regardless of what comes of this particular project, it has inspired me to explore the possibilities of writing on my own again. If something comes of it, fantastic, if it doesn't it will keep me in the flow of creative activity. 

When a friend from New York came to visit, she encouraged me to come up with a web series. Who knows it could be an acting vehicle or simply a great writing adventure on its own. I may give it a try. 

2. Unfortunately, due to commitment to writing project my Spanish studies have fallen off. Time to get back on!

3. My gym workouts at La Fitness have fallen off as well.

4. In terms of my social life, I admit I have not been tremendously social. However, I have been continuing with my YouTube education so any socializing over the last two months have been mainly in YouTube. Hey, better than nothing.  I actually found following some of my favorite YouTubers provided a much needed mental escape when I had writer's block! Yay, YouTube!
   

Okay. What have I learned?  While on the one hand, I was very creatively productive. Nevertheless, I need to find a balance with other goals.  While big projects may arise causing some goals to fall off track, it doesn't mean that everything has to crumble to bits. I need to strive for balance and what I end up with won't be too bad.

I have been notorious for setting goals and not following through. My biggest goal is ultimately to power through and follow through on my goals come what may. Yes, I may stumble, I may fumble but as Whitney says  "I was not built to break."

I will find my own strength and make my goals my new reality.

Ahh.. live and learn.

Remaining Grateful As I 'm Fighting For My Dreams

Ahh.. an actor's work is never done. My acting group has started it's summer/fall session and we are focusing on sitcoms. While acting is acting, each genre has its own styles that we as actors must master.

I'm excited for what lies ahead this semester. It looks to be a challenging one.

Keeping your skills sharp is an endless endeavor.  Thank God for my acting group. It has become a place where I can dare to fail creatively. When you fall on your face, it is done in the safety of a supportive environment. But when you soar, it is an amazingly empowering experience.

I am grateful I have the opportunity to follow my dreams. I may seem crazy to my non-acting friends but despite all the luxuries one gives up to pursue an actor's life, I think it is important to simply acknowledge how truly lucky I am to live a creative life and live without regret, come what may.

I look forward to an exciting new semester and the confidence in my craft it will expand that can only lead to more professional work.

Life is great. Life is a blessing. Life is what you make of it!!

Follow your dreams... wherever you are!



 

Theme Song of The Week: Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive".

This week's theme song is a throwback that still holds up! Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive".

After an ugly breakup, this song does the trick:)
Last week was filled with a lot of stress and drama. Time to leave that all in the past. Gloria's gonna help me shake that all off and start fresh.

Theme Song of The Week: "What Does My Girl Say"

This is looking like a week when I need to keep my sense of humor. I plan to laugh everyday as often as possible to keep things in perspective.

So, the theme song of the week is "What Does My Girls Say" brought to you by Kerry Washington and the crew from SNL!

Theme Song of The Week: "Lovely Day" by Bill Withers

I'm kicking it ole school for my theme song of the week with a recommendation from Blog Catalog friend Neavada Dames.

"Lovely Day" by Bill Withers.  Listen and enjoy!!!

When I wake up in the mornin', love
And the sunlight hurts my eyes
And somethin' without warnin', love
Bears heavy on my mind

Then I look at you
And the world's alright with me
Just one look at you
And I know it's gonna be

A lovely day
(Lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day)
(Lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day)

A lovely day
(Lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day)
(Lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day)

When the day that lies ahead of me
Seems impossible to face
When someone else instead of me
Always seems to know the way

Then I look at you
And the world's alright with me
Just one look at you
And I know it's gonna be

A lovely day
(Lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day)
(Lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day)

A lovely day
(Lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day)
(Lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day)

When the day that lies ahead of me
Seems impossible to face
And when someone else instead of me
Always seems to know the way

Then I look at you
And the world's alright with me
Just one look at you
And I know it's gonna be

A lovely day
(Lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day)
(Lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day)

A lovely day
(Lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day)
(Lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day)
(Lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day)
(Lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day)

A lovely day
(Lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day)
(Lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day)

A lovely day
(Lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day)
(Lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day)

A lovely day
(Lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day)
(Lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day)

A lovely day
(Lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day)
(Lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day)
(Lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day)

My Hero's Journey: Nourishing the Soul with "Gay Family Values"

I am forever fascinated by how the human mind works. As an actor, I am also, fascinated, sometimes perplexed but always thoroughly focused on how my own mind works. Why do I do the things I do? In learning to understand these things I not only improve my skills as an artist, but I am also enriching my life as a person.

Having recently made a personal commitment to release the "victim" self-identification and replace it with that of a "hero" facing life's ups and downs with a sense of adventure, I am faced with the realization that for change to take root, you need to replace the old default images with something else. Something better.

I'm sure anyone reading this is saying "What the hell is this dude talking about? Well, what I can say? I am moving through a rough patch in life, as well all do from time to time. Finances are "tight", romance has been non-existent for so long I'm at the point of feeling like that is my "new normal."  This is where following one's dreams gets interesting. When I am booking work and doing what I love, I can look past the fact that I am single, sometimes lonely and don't have a partner to share my life's joy with. However, the joy of "career movement" gives one hope that if this is possible surely love is possible as well.

Unfortunately, it is when, like now, finances are tight, auditions are not leading to booking and life just feels like a "hot mess" that I am reminded of the challenges of being alone. This is where the "victim mentality" rises up and reminds me that the only time I was knee deep in love, it ended in his passing away from complications due to AIDS mere months before the "cocktail" was discovered and made
available. Now while I have come to terms with that loss, many many moons ago, I have also realized that I made an unconscious choice to shut down and not expect I deserved to find love again as if that was my only shot. As I read what I am writing, I recognize that this thinking is completely illogical. And consciously, I have tried to move on but something has always felt, well... broken. I see now that it was that childhood victim crap, the internalization of my severe bullying as a teen that was controlling my mind's default thinking.

It is only in this painfully uncomfortable excavation of my lifelong thinking patterns that I realize I need to consciously fill up on healthy images of loving LGBT relationships to provide myself with a "spiritual/mental".road map to recognizing that not only is a healthy well-adjusted life partner in the cards for me but is something I can embody within myself.  I believe you attract to your life what you are mentally equal to, if that makes any sense. In essence until I get my mental house in order, the only thing I'll be attracting is crap.

Now, I say all of this not from a rehashing of any "victim wallowing" or desire to mourn the past but a recognition that I need to replace that broken record with a new song.

Enter "Youtube" and my social media education. In this ongoing learning experience, I have become completely stunned by the power of "story" via a 11 minute or less clip. I understand the use of the word community which never quite made sense to me before with regard to youtube. As you get absorbed into the stories of individuals on channels that resonate with you, it is startling how personal it feels.

I have recently stumbled upon some lgbt youtubers who just make my soul smile. Most notably have been the Leffew family of the youtube channel "Gay Family Values".  I discovered them when randomly watching clips of a young 20 something gay couple who were being "called out" so to speak by the couple of "Gay Family Values."  The "call out" was done with love and sparked what I thought was a healthy debate. (I am still getting use to the interactive elemnt of "YouTube.")  The added benefit to me was that it connected me with some gay youtubers who were over the age of 26. While there is nothing wrong with being 26 or younger, I enjoy listening to the voices of various ages within the lgbt community. In my initial search on youtube "gay family values" didn't pop up or perhaps they did and I needed this "drama" for them to stand out.

Needless to say, I have become hooked on watching their videos and discovering their views as gay rights activists. They have definitely given me a lot to think about. What I enjoy about their channel is they are a real normal couple with children living their lives showing the straight world that lgbt families are no different than theirs and deserving of all the rights and frankly the respect due any other family.

On this channel I have found for myself, as a gay man, something healing, hopeful and genuinely uplifting to ME as a person just from watching their videos. I have never thought about adopting children, or felt it was something for me but I completely respect them for the incredible family they have created.  I was watching today a variety of videos from numerous channels about a "Big Gay Vacation" they hosted along the Russian river in Northern California.  It was terrific watching gay men of different ages and ethnic backgrounds coming together to bond and celebrate friendship and family.  I found myself thinking of the importance of my friends in my own life. I recalled friends who passed away and friends who've moved away and out of my life to follow their own path. There is power and strength from community in whatever form that takes. Their videos remind me that I am blessed and with each day, despite my current challenges, I have the opportunity to live with joy and love.

Okay, I am rambling but for some reason I felt the need to acknowledge this opportunity I have been presented with, by the Universe", to fill my mind with images and stories of real, loving lgbt couples.  It may be a long road before I find my life partner, but it is definitely nice to feel it is possible again.

My hero's journey continues...

Before you go, I am attaching a clip from their Big Gay Vacation. Enjoy it then take a trip over to their channel- "Gay Family Values", to see what inspiration looks like!!
 
Visibility does matter.          

My Hero's Journey: Unleashing the Actor, Writer, Poet, Artist Within

"My Spirit Guide" by Kevin D'Arcy

It astonishing to me how much I need the artist in me during times of stress and hardship. In my hero's journey, I am awake to the fact that as a child I always used my creative imagination to cope with the challenges I faced. I sketched, I created charcoal paintings, I wrote poetry, I wrote short stories, I played "Dungeons & Dragons", I dabbled in sculpture.  I eventually became an actor.  My life was continuosly marinating in creativity.

Somewhere down the line as student loans, credit card debt and trying to stay afloat financially took center stage, my creative outlets shrunk down to simply trying to "book" work as a professional actor.

This youtube clip and frankly, my awakening to the theme of events arising in my life over th last few weeks and months, have been pointing me in the direction of creativity as a NEED not a luxury. I feel those former aspects of myself yearning to be unleashed to express themselves, clearly not for monetary gain but for the purpose of keeping me SANE!

Yes, I must look at myself as a creative professional but I must also make a point of nurturing the inner artist in all his forms and allow my life and career to unfold without constriction. Truth is I love to write, so I am gonna write, and see what unfolds. I use to love drawing; I may just grab a canvas and just let my freak flag fly and see what pours out of my mind onto the canvas then stick it up on my living room wall!

Yes, I could really use an infusion of money to keep my stressed out control freak self functioning. However, something is telling me that this IS the time to surrender to the call to creative expression and use this self-expression as the nourishment my soul is craving.

I found this clip by TedTalks with the artist Gale Fulton Ross talking about the creativity that lives in us all.
It is another one of those "The Universe is speaking to ME" moments. I am choosing to listen and welcome  those multiple personalities back into my life for good!

Just for fun, I took a pic of a charcoal sketch I did many years ago of my "Spirit Guide". I remember I covered the canvas in charcoal, meditated and asked my spirit guide to reveal itself. I then proceeded to use tissue to wipe away the charcoal and allow whatever image wished to reveal itself to reveal itself.  The white light in the center is the camera flash not a part of the charcoal work, but it does seem to fit with the picture:)

It's the only thing I ever framed and kept. I thought it would be a nice reminder to myself to get reconnected to my Inner Self. 

Exploring Mantras/Chanting in My Meditation Practice

I'm exploring the use of mantras and chanting as I work on enriching my meditation practice. I found this meditation clip a fun introduction to mantras. The clip is from youtuber "MeditationMusicGirl."

This mantra is "Om Brzee Namaha".  I have no idea what it means but it is a wealth mantra. The pace was rhythmic and not conducive to my sitting still so I surrendered to the beat as I chanted and it turned more into a dance with no other thought than the chant. It felt a little like listening to Native American drumming. Maybe it's because I love to dance, but I could not sit still as I chanted to the beat! I haven't decided if this is better to do as my morning or evening meditation. I will experiment and see what feels best. 

I suppose meditation is not limited to sitting still on a pillow, right?.

Either way, I quite enjoyed myself. I may stick with this for a bit and see what if anything unfolds into my experience as a result.  Considering my current financial issues, I am open to attracting abundance and prosperity from any means the Universe wishes to send it! Enjoy.

Theme Song of The Week: "Bad Reputation" by Joan Jett

I pay homage to the geek in me by choosing Joan Jett's "Bad Reputation"-the theme song from the NBC tv series "Freaks and Geeks" as my theme song of the week!  Enjoy!

I don't give a damn 'bout my reputation
You're living in the past, it's a new generation
A girl can do what she wants to do and that's what I'm gonna do

An' I don't give a damn 'bout my bad reputation
Oh no, not me

An' I don't give a damn 'bout my reputation
Never said I wanted to improve my station
An' I'm only doin' good when I'm havin' fun
An' I don't have to please no one

An' I don't give a damn 'bout my bad reputation
Oh no, not me, oh no, not me

I don't give a damn 'bout my reputation
I've never been afraid of any deviation
An' I don't really care if ya think I'm strange
I ain't gonna change

An' I'm never gonna care 'bout my bad reputation
Oh no, not me, oh no, not me
Pedal boys!

An' I don't give a damn 'bout my reputation
The world's in trouble, there's no communication
An' everyone can say what they wanna say
It never gets better, anyway

So why should I care 'bout a bad reputation anyway?
Oh no, not me, oh no, not me

I don't give a damn 'bout my bad reputation
You're living in the past, it's a new generation
An' I only feel good when I got no pain
An' that's how I'm gonna stay

An' I don't give a damn 'bout my bad reputation
Oh no, not me, oh no, not me
Not me, not me

Read more: Joan Jett - Bad Reputation Lyrics | MetroLyrics

"Il dolce far niente"/"The Sweetness of Doing Nothing" Is The Best Description of this Day

Sometimes, life can get so stressful worrying about bills, responsibilities, goals yet to be met that we sometimes forget to simply relax and BE. Despite some things I could have done, I decided to embrace one of the lessons of "Eat. Pray. Love" and indulge in "Il dolce far niente" a.k.a. "the sweetness of doing nothing.".

I started off the morning with an impromptu trip to "House of Secrets: Comics & Toys" in Burbank. I grew up on a healthy dose of Xmen and Avengers comics. However, as I moved from Philadelphia to California, I lost touch with my geeky pleasure only allowing myself to indulge via the movies of  Xmen and The Avengers.

As I explored youtuber Neil McNeil's channel, I felt the urge returning as he mentions this comic book shop as part of his Wednesday ritual. It stood out because  his Wednsday ritual consists of stopping off at House of Screts before heading off to a bar in Burbank to do trivia. Strangely enough, the trivia bar is literally two blocks from my apartment so it left an impression.:) What are the odds I would randomly follow some vlogger and he ends up living in my town driving around places I know? Weird but fun at the same time. It has allowed me to discover numerous interesting spots in my own city to check out on my own. In another interesting coincidence I came across a vlog by Amy Dallen on LGBT characters in comics.  As it turns out she actually works at the comic book shop.  It was a bit surreal talking to someone who you've been listening to on YouTube. Amy was oh so sweet and just as knowledgeable and helpful as she appeared to be in her vlog.  Unfortunately, the comic I came to get was currently out of my budget range (for now) so I settled for a new issue of the X-Men just for fun. I will definitely be back.

 Strange as it may seem, it was wonderful taking time for myself to just be the geek that I truly am and browse a comic book shop and in a way merge my current YouTube self-education into the "everyday-ness" of my life.  Who says I can't enjoy comics agaon? After all what is the point of life if you don't live it with joy?

Amy was truly a sweetheart. I picked her brain on how she learned about video editing and she gave me a lead to follow.  Thanks, Amy!

If you are ever having a comic book craving, be sure to check out House of Secrets in Burbank.

Social Media Self-Education: YouTube Vlogging is Not Easy!!!

As  I discussed in a prior posting, I am all about getting well-versed in the various social media sources of self-expression. It all can be a bit much when it comes to information overload so I am making peace with the fact that there is no need to rush since I am doing this for myself and no one else. The world will survive without a tweet from me before I am ready:)

I have been digging deep into YouTube and that is a community that I am really "vibing" with. I have found some really cool channels to subscribe to and I even dusted off my Canon Powershot A3400is. I bought it a while ago so I could take pics and have fun with it but never considered using the video functions until now.

After a strange night of insomnia, I went for a walk along the Chandler Bike path and decided to find a bench and try to vlog. When you are outside you are never so aware of extraneous sounds until you are trying to tape.  I am relatively close to the Burbank/ Bob Hope Airport. I 've lived hear for years and after year one, the sound of airplane taking off moved to the background of my mind.  Not so, on Wednesday morning when I tried taping.

To be honest it was fun and weird at the same time. You have people walking by wondering what you are doing or passing with facial expressions of confusion, superiority or just plain curiosity. It definitely forces you to get comfortable with being vulnerable in public but that's not so bad a thing, right?

The challenging part is actually doing film editing. I found something called VideoPadEditor by NCH software. It was free with an option to upgrade to a professional version. I'nm not there yet.  I simply wanted to explore what it would be like to do the editing. I will admit I got more than a little obsessed. I dived in but I didn't have the patience to go through the tutiorials first. I dived in then pulled up the tutorial and tried to apply things as I went along.  Let's just say, I have a ways to go before I get this video edited. :)

My hat goes off to all of the vloggers out there. Even doing a basic no frills editing job is no small task. So, imagine what goes into all those videos with music and visual tricks. Bloody hell, you guys rock!

I will say, I have been toying with the idea of vlogging on youtube but I think it will be something more about pushing myself out of my comfort zone. Also, I think I could really enjoy creating videos as a fun hobby. As frustrating as it is, I was having fun. The drawbacks at present are I don't have a laptop, nor do I have photo shop, or any of the necessary software that I really need to do this thing well. That is yet another thing to add to my Social Media Education "To Do" list!

Wish me luck! The journey continues!!      

Happy Fourth of July, Everyone!!

Happy 4th of July!  I hope everyone is gonna be out and about somewhere celebrating our nation's birthday!

I am off to Glendale to spend the afternoon poolside and BBQing with a bunch of my buddies. There will be jello shots so I imagine things will get interesting as they always do! There is nothing better than laughing with friends! Make a point to laugh today!!!

Life has been a bit challenging these days but I am focused on enjoying life as much as possible. You only get one life to live so you might as well enjoy yourself! Otherwise, what is the point?

So get out in the sunshine today folks and BE Happy! Remember, it's always a choice.:)

Theme Song of the Week: "Stay" by Steve Grand

My social media self-education is literally opening me up to a virtual world of endless opportunities.  Truthfully, I don't know how people are able to manage the sensory overload of so information! I am knee deep in my YouTube exploration and it has been an eye opener! I've only glanced in the direction of Twitter and Tumblr but decided to back away before my head exploded. They are for another day...soon but another day for now.

Meanwhile while strolling through the Youtube neighborhood, I started hearing about Steve Grand an up and comping OUT singer who is taking the internet by storm! He is actually a bloody good singer, so it is my duty to support "family" whenever I can, especially when they are so damn talented! Check out the link to his site and support him anyway you can.

 http://www.stevegrand.com/

Take a listen to Steve Grand singing "Stay" and buy his music!!!!

        

Shifting To A Hero's Journey

Call me crazy but I love the idea of viewing my life in the words of Joseph Campbell, as A Hero's Journey.

This isn't about vanity by any means. It's about perspective. As I may have mentioned in a prior blog, I recently discovered the unconscious pattern I had of viewing my world from the lens of a victim. Now I didn't consciously choose this perspective. In many ways it was set as my "default" perspective of the world after years of bullying. Yeah, folks don't get truly the ramifications of bullying can have on a person's psyche.
The thing is when you are bullied, you rarely go through a process of addressing the bully, facing your aggressors and resolving the conflict. For the most part, you are in avoidance mode until it stops. Once it stops you are so grateful it is over you, you move on usually without ever talking about it to others and in so doing you internalize many of the learned responses you formed to mentally survive.

Many many moons after my experience and I can still  see the remnants of my "past pain" in my own current behavior and how it has shaped my confidence and sense of self. Luckily, I am of the belief that as long as you are breathing you have the opportunity to change, grow and live your best life!

I am therefore, consciously choosing to look at my life from this point forward as my own "Hero's Journey".

The idea is to mentally flush out any residual "victim" thinking I may have lodged in the wonderful unconscious mind. Besides as an actor, it is so much more fun to shape my life into this adventure so I don't let those bad auditions mess with my head for more than a minute:)

Once again, I draw upon the insightful Jason Silva for creative inspiration on this front.

   

Using Jason Silva for Creative Motivation!

It is funny how when you make a decision, the Universe starts sending you the tools to assist and inspire you.

As I reinvest in my life's vision, part of the joy is rediscovering that childlike wonder that allows me to release the shackles of conformity and jadedness to real meaningful creativity.

As an artist, as an actor, I want to be contributing to the uplift of consciousness whether it is through laughter or tears, I want to do work that matters.

Jason Silva is the man!  This modern day philosopher is definitely going to be a touchstone for creative inspiration. I will be delving into clips like a sumptuous meal for my mind!

I found these three clips that really speak to my current desires as an artist. Watch these three morsels of inspiration and ask yourself two questions....

Do I hear the music?

Am I ready to be one of the mad ones?








My answer is YES!!! What is yours?

My Social Media Education: YouTube

Yes, I admit today as I have on numerous occasions, I am virtually illiterate when it comes to social media. I have yet to grasp the need for twitter, tumbler, google+, facebook, vine and youtube. Must one be on all? Can't one or two suffice? Who the hell has the time to be on all this social media while still living an active life? I'm truthfully not knocking what I haven't tried. I just don't get it?

However, I want to grow and expand my horizons so instead of jumping right in to all these tools, I am gonna start exploring what I have so far. I've a Facebook, Google+ and Youtube account.

I think I will start with Youtube. I do not own a piece of video editing software so vlogging is not an option at the moment so I am exploring different sites to see what this vlogging thing is all about.

I have stumbled upon a cool young vlogger named Simon Harrison who I recently subscribed to and binge watched over the last few days. There is something about this guy and his journey that I resonate with on so many levels. The strange thing is with each video I watched of his life's journey, the more invested I have grown in wanting to see him grow, succeed and find his share of life's happiness. It is a little weird that I am rooting for this guy I have never met in person. Yes...he is an attractive, young gay man finding his way. I suppose that is enough for some people to subscribe to a channel but Simon has something special about him. He has a kindness and generosity about how he carries himself. He is fiercely honest with his audience about his life, his feelings and views even if they are still evolving in his life experience. He literally forces you to care about him, not in any manipulative kind of way but simply in his honest searching to find his way through life. 

Watching his videos had me reflecting on the issues of my life that have set me on my own life's journey. I applaud him for boldly facing his fears and I will continue to root for his success. I'm not big on being anyone's "fan" per say. I don't know, I find that just well weird...but as he is as they say "family" I definitely want to see him live his dreams and with the help of youtube I can watch him as he chronicles his life adventure! I have not gotten to the whole interactive aspect of youtube because I have never been fond of how nasty people are with one another on-line but if there was any random stranger I would contact to say hello to or show my support, I would have to say Simon would be the one. Maybe because I see aspects of myself in him or whatever. Yeah this whole interactivity is way too out of my comfort zone but who knows how I will evolve as I explore the social media world in the future.

I guess that is the power of Youtube. We are social beings so watching people video their lives can be a source of entertainment, enlightenment and inspiration depending on how willing people are to make themselves vulnerable with a sense of dignity and humor.

If you get a chance, check out Simon's youtube channel. I will attach/share his first youtube clip that got me hooked. If you have a soul in your body, you will be moved by Simon and compelled to watch more, rooting for him every step of the way as I am!!

      

 

Re-Investing In What Matters to Me- Beyond Just Getting By

I have been in a very reflective mood as I endeavor to course correct my life. The last few months of 2013 gave me the taste of success as an actor with small parts on television that reminded me why I am living on my own, far from family, pursuing a dream that gives me a fulfillment I can hardly put into words. Yet those moments of fulfillment are so few and far between. It's like having a cool glass of water while walking through the Sahara. Once you have finished, you start to feel like that glass of water might have been a mirage until you find that next drink. Sometimes it is a real challenge to find the motivation to stay optimistic.  

What is the balance one must strike between paying the bills, having a social life, and being an artist in whatever derivation you are inspired to pursue?

I have wanted to be an actor for as long as I could remember. Back when my childhood bullies made life a living hell, the dream of being someone who could create a character and be part of a film or television story that helped people to escape their troubles for a moment was the BIG DREAM!

I found my way from Philadelphia to the promised land of  Los Angeles with a detour to San Francisco to get my training and upon my return to the City of Angels, my career as an actor was born. It was hard to say goodbye to San Francisco and the life of a student and hello to the life of a "Professional Actor". That was many moons ago... even if it feels like yesterday, it definitely was not. Much life has happened from graduation from the "conservatory" to now. Ah life. Nothing prepares you for the realities of life like LIFE. I have fallen in love, left acting, mourned the death of my first real love, grieved longer than I realized, and upon waking up from that self-imposed exile of grief, decided to return to being an actor.

Not sure why I just went on a recap of my life up until now. I just know I am going through one of those moments of "waking up" to my life. Ever have one of those? For me it is when I get lost in the day to day drudgery of paying my bills and making ends meet that I slip into a mental/spiritual coma. This coma was very much like that overextended period of grief where life went by but did not have much flavor to it. Ya know what I'm saying?

In an effort to get the flavor back, I made the decision to reconnect to my view of my life as a spiritual journey which abruptly slammed to a dead stop when my love passed.  Nevertheless, I began an exploration of Science of Mind which brought me to the unexpected discovery of how much I have defined my world view as a victim. I honestly had no clue, I had thought I had put those feelings to bed years ago only to have the unexpected realization that I really just replaced one bully for another in one of those unconscious repeat of pattern things you think is just bullshit until you see it active in your life!

Talk about mind-blowing. No one really thinks of themselves as being a victim until you are forced to listen to your self-talk and stop rationalizing and justifying why you are entitled to feel how you feel and objectively see what your mind is revealing to you. It has been all a long. I just was unwilling to listen to what it was really saying. It is ironic that all this began to unfold in May around my birthday.  An opportunity for a rebirth of some kind perhaps?

So  yes, while I took a 10 week course on prosperity, which I mentioned in a prior blog post, all this childhood bullying bullshit rose from the depths of my memory like a toxic leak just begging to be removed permanently from my consciousness.

I made a decision to put that tired old story to bed and allow a new one to emerge. Instead of a "Victim's Tale of Woe", I am starting the first chapters of a Hero's Journey.

In this Hero's Journey, my body is 50 pounds lighter, with a few more rippling toned muscles and an actual social life. I will be honest, these chapters will take more than a minute to be written but I am enjoying watching new sides of myself emerge as my perspective of life has made a dramatic change. Life is no endless Pride Festival but it is more like being AWAKE after a long long coma like sleep. A little physical therapy may be needed to get the various muscles working in mind and body but that is to be expected from any coma patient:)

The next stage is really reengaging in my life as an artist. Yes I am a professional actor but, what do I want my career to look like professionally and artistically? I think I was a little too afraid to ask myself these questions seriously out of fear. Today, I know that I cannot get where I want to go if I don't define my road map. I can always take a detour but unless I have a map created, I will be doomed to wander in the desert aimlessly. Thanks to the 10 week workshop, I have a vision statement of things I want to accomplish but now,  I need to map out the next steps to get my Hero's Journey started 

The difference between success and failure is all in the planning. Yes, I want to enjoy the journey. I also want to see what the journey looks like.

This has been a slow period that will soon be picking up as we move into July so, now is the perfect time to start doing a little map-making.

"Live Without Regret." That is my new motto.

My life continues to unfold perfectly and has led me to this present moment . I might as well embrace every element of my past: "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly." I may not want to re-live it but it was meant to be because it happened and I cannot change it.  Why pretend it didn't exist when just letting go of the power I give it to define my present is enough?.   

How can I be the best actor I can be? How do I make a five line part just as meaningful as a leading role?  These are the questions I am looking forward to answering over the coming weeks and months.

As long as you wake up each morning, you might as well LIVE!

Theme Song of the Week: "Golden" by Jill Scott

I found this song to keep me bouncing through the week with a smile on my face.


This week's theme song is:

 "Golden" by Jill Scott.


 Hey ohh hey yea
Ohh yea yea yea yea yea yea yea

I'm takin' my freedom, pulling it off the shelf
Puttin' it on my chain, wearing it 'round my neck
I'm taking my freedom, puttin' it in my car
Wherever I choose to go it will take me far

I'm living my life like it's golden
Living my life like it's golden
Living my life like it's golden
Living my life like it's golden
Living my life like it's golden, golden

Living my life like it's golden
Living my life like it's golden
Living my life like it's golden
Living my life like it's golden
Living my life like it's golden, golden

I'm taking my own freedom, putting it in my song
Singing loud and strong, grooving all day long
I'm taking my freedom, putting it in my stroll
I be high stepping ya'll, letting the joy unfold

I'm living my life like it's golden
Living my life like it's golden
Living my life like it's golden
Living my life like it's golden
Living my life like it's golden, golden

Living my life like it's golden
Living my life like it's golden
Living my life like it's golden
Living my life like it's golden
Living my life like it's golden, golden

I'm holding on to my freedom, can't take it from me
I was born into it, it comes naturally
I'm strumming my own freedom
Playing the God in me, represent His glory
Hope He's proud of me, Yea

Living my life like it's golden
Living my life like it's golden
(Hope He's proud of me)
Living my life like it's golden
Living my life like it's golden
Living my life like it's golden, golden

Living my life like it's golden
Living my life like it's golden
Living my life like it's golden
Living my life like it's golden
Living my life like it's golden, golden

Living my life like it's golden, golden, golden, golden, golden, golden
Living my life like it's golden, golden, golden, golden, golden, golden
Living my life like it's golden, golden, golden, golden, golden, golden
Living my life like it's golden, golden, golden, golden, golden, golden
Living my life like it's golden, golden, golden, golden, golden, golden
Living my life like it's golden, golden, golden, golden, golden, golden
Livin' my life like it's golden, it really matters to me, ohh

Living my life, like it's golden, golden, golden, golden, golden, golden
Living my life, like it's golden, golden, golden, golden, golden, golden
Living my life, like it's golden, golden, golden, golden, golden, golden

Message in A Bottle....

 

To STRIVE,

To SEEK,

To FIND,

And NOT to YIELD....

This is the MEANING of LIFE.

 

 

Kicking off "Theme Song of the Week" with SHAKIRA for Motivation!

Yes! As I sent out a request to the Universe for songs to have a monthly motivational theme song, I have found myself opened up to a world of songs and artists that I never knew I knew! That being  the case, I am placing myself with the challenge to have a theme song of the week. This will keep things fresh and if I really like a song, I can always bring it back down the line or hold on to it for an additional week! This is after all all about having fun, inspiring myself as a performer and bringing music back into my life on a deeper level!

In honor of my South American roots and the party going on with the 2014 World Cup FIFA "Brasil", I am kicking things off with the high energy of Shakira and the 2014 World Cup Theme Song: "DARE- La La La"

La la la la
La la la la
La la la la
La la la la [2X]
I dare you

Feel how the planet’s
become one
beats like a drum
To the same rhythm

Hear the whistle
Kick the ball,
The entire world
Sears like an eagle

In Rio we play
Like we dance
Only today
There’s no tomorrow

Leave all behind
Tn this place
There’s no space
For fear or sorrow

Is it true that you want it
Then act like you mean it
With everyone watching
It’s truth or dare can you feel it

La la la la
La la la la
La la la la
La la la la

Is it true that you want it
Then act like you mean it
The while world is watching
It’s truth or dare can you feel it

La la la la
La la la la
La la la la
La la la la
I dare you

La la la la
La la la la
La la la la
La la la la
I dare you

La la la la
La la la la
La la la la
La la la la [2X]
I dare you

Feel how the planet’s
become one
beats like a drum
To the same rhythm

Hear the whistle
Kick the ball,
The entire world
Sears like an eagle

In Rio we play
Like we dance
Only today
There’s no tomorrow

Leave all behind
Tn this place
There’s no space
For fear or sorrow

Is it true that you want it
Then act like you mean it
With everyone watching
It’s truth or dare can you feel it

La la la la
La la la la
La la la la
La la la la

Is it true that you want it
Then act like you mean it
The while world is watching
It’s truth or dare can you feel it

La la la la
La la la la
La la la la
La la la la
I dare you

La la la la
La la la la
La la la la
La la la la
I dare you

- See more at: http://www.footballwood.com/lyrics-of-shakira-la-la-la-la-2014-fifa-world-cup-song-with-video.html#sthash.purvogE7.dpuf

La la la la
La la la la
La la la la
La la la la [2X]
I dare you

Feel how the planet’s
become one
beats like a drum
To the same rhythm

Hear the whistle
Kick the ball,
The entire world
Sears like an eagle

In Rio we play
Like we dance
Only today
There’s no tomorrow

Leave all behind
Tn this place
There’s no space
For fear or sorrow

Is it true that you want it
Then act like you mean it
With everyone watching
It’s truth or dare can you feel it

La la la la
La la la la
La la la la
La la la la

Is it true that you want it
Then act like you mean it
The while world is watching
It’s truth or dare can you feel it

La la la la
La la la la
La la la la
La la la la
I dare you

La la la la
La la la la
La la la la
La la la la
I dare you

- See more at: http://www.footballwood.com/lyrics-of-shakira-la-la-la-la-2014-fifa-world-cup-song-with-video.html#sthash.purvogE7.dpuf

La la la la
La la la la
La la la la
La la la la [2X]
I dare you

Feel how the planet’s
become one
beats like a drum
To the same rhythm

Hear the whistle
Kick the ball,
The entire world
Sears like an eagle

In Rio we play
Like we dance
Only today
There’s no tomorrow

Leave all behind
Tn this place
There’s no space
For fear or sorrow

Is it true that you want it
Then act like you mean it
With everyone watching
It’s truth or dare can you feel it

La la la la
La la la la
La la la la
La la la la

Is it true that you want it
Then act like you mean it
The while world is watching
It’s truth or dare can you feel it

La la la la
La la la la
La la la la
La la la la
I dare you

La la la la
La la la la
La la la la
La la la la
I dare you

- See more at: http://www.footballwood.com/lyrics-of-shakira-la-la-la-la-2014-fifa-world-cup-song-with-video.html#sthash.purvogE7.dpuf

La la la la
La la la la
La la la la
La la la la [2X]
I dare you

Feel how the planet’s
become one
beats like a drum
To the same rhythm

Hear the whistle
Kick the ball,
The entire world
Sears like an eagle

In Rio we play
Like we dance
Only today
There’s no tomorrow

Leave all behind
Tn this place
There’s no space
For fear or sorrow

Is it true that you want it
Then act like you mean it
With everyone watching
It’s truth or dare can you feel it

La la la la
La la la la
La la la la
La la la la

Is it true that you want it
Then act like you mean it
The while world is watching
It’s truth or dare can you feel it

La la la la
La la la la
La la la la
La la la la
I dare you

La la la la
La la la la
La la la la
La la la la
I dare you

Journey Toward Financial Wellness for this Actor...Part 3

Here is Part 3 of the Journey Toward Financial Wellness for this Actor! Yes, this is not the most sexy or interesting material to be watching but, I am learning to appreciate being proactive in my financial education. Being an artist,  I need to make my money stretch and work for me effectively.

Knowledge is power.


For more information on the Actor's Fund go to:   http://www.actorsfund.org/

Here is clip 3:

Financial Wellness Part 3: Credit Health
The Actors Fund Podcast Series are based on workshops that are presented regularly at The Actors Fund's New York and Los Angeles offices. Geared towards assisting entertainment and performing arts professionals, these videos are for you!
The seventh installment in The Actors Fund Podcast Series will help you to assess your credit health. This video shows you how to analyze your personal credit and debt profile, including how to understand your credit report and your credit score. We will also take you through The Actors Fund Credit Accounts Organizer, a self-assessment tool which will give you a simplified snapshot of your pertinent credit and debt information. Credit is important in today's world. Responsible use of credit gives you many valuable options that can improve your financial life. For many people in the entertainment industry, credit is the tool that you use to ensure lifestyle continuity. In other words, paying your bills and putting food on the table when you're in between jobs. When you use your available credit it becomes debt. Debt can limit your options and create undue financial pressure. This segment will not only help you to determine if you have a debt problem, but also to establish a stable method of managing your overall credit health.

Ossie & Ruby Honored at the 27th Kennedy Center Awards

                              


Ossie Davis and Ruby Dee become Kennedy Center Honorees at the 27th Kennedy Center Awards Ceremony..

 Below I found a complete clip of their Kennedy Center Tribute.









Take a moment to catch a glimpse at their tremendous contribution to the American Landscape.

Legendary Actress & Activist Ruby Dee Passed Away at 91

THANK YOU RUBY DEE AND OSSIE DAVIS FOR THE TRAIL YOU BLAZED TO MAKE MY LIFE BETTER...

 My heart has broken at hearing the news Ruby Dee passed away on Wednesday, June 11, 2014 of natural causes at the age of 91.  It is nice to hear that if someone passes it is of natural causes and at the age of 91 we know she had a rich full life.

Yet her passing feels like a loss in the family. Ruby Dee and Ossie Davis were like the grandparents I never knew. Their activism led the way for me being able to have the life I now enjoy and to be able to pursue this acting career I love so much.

I will miss her as I would have loved to have met her or worked with her. I will have to be content with enjoying the body of work she has left behind and be grateful for all she has done for me even though we never met.

Again, THANK YOU, Ruby Dee and Ossie Davis...where ever you are I know you are together. Be blessed, as you have been such a blessing to so many of us!
 




Watch these clips and you will get a glimpse of why Ruby Dee is the definition of a "Legend" and so damn inspirational!!!.

Theme Song for The Month

Music continues to be a strong motivational force in my life.  I will be honest. The career of an actor is laced with so many ups and downs, you really have to be creative with using whatever means possible to keep yourself on track and your head focused on the success you want to achieve.

Since I have a "Soundtrack of My Life" that I love, I thought I would branch out and create a theme song of the month that either captures a feeling I'm experiencing or more importantly inspires me to reach for my dreams and not give up when circumstances are challenging your belief in yourself! I am gonna come up with some songs to turn to to lift me up. So much of the music I have been drawn to have been "oh the pain of this or that so I really need to change it up! I need a mental spiritual pick me up, dance around the room and remember why I am taking this crazy life path song! 

Right now I have some thoughts for June but not a firm choice yet:.

#1

  


#2



#3



#4



#5



I may need to test things out and see how I feel.

I am totally open to suggestions. Hopefully I can find the song on Youtube. Even if I don't choose it for this month, I will always have another month just around the corner!!

Wish me luck!!!  :)