Ahh.... I have been acclimating myself back to Los Angeles after spending a few short days over the Christmas holidays with my family. There is something perhaps in our DNA that makes tribal ties so profound. I did little during my trip back to Philadelphia but cook, play cards, laugh and simply enjoy the "everydayness" of being with my mum, sister, brothers and nieces and nephew. I felt like I reset my internal clock and now I can deal once more with all the emotional ups and downs of following my dreams.
Coming back, I realized that so much of my stress has been self-induced. Watching my mother work her way back to health reminds me that life is full of miracles when you open your eyes to see them. When I see my sister doing all that she is doing to help my mum recover as she deals with her own life, I am reminded that we all have vast amounts of inner strength available to us when we really need it.
I left Los Angeles, wondering how I was going to cope with 2013. Everything was stressing me out. I returned to Philadelphia with some degree of guilt that my sister was doing so much, while I was on the other side of the country "pursuing my dreams". My goal was to give her a break and do all I could to empower my mum to keep fighting. I found myself cooking all of these healthy dishes and feeling this overwhelming joy at being able to do things to help my family. It is strange being the youngest in the family because no matter how old you get you are the "baby". So coming home this time was less about me sitting around relaxing and more actively engaging in making everyone else relax from all the stress of my mum's accident.
To say I had an amazing time at home would be an understatement. I connected with my nephew Zen and he taught me how easy it is to become addicted to PS3. I am very tempted to get PS3 so I can finish playing
Assassin's Creed III. Bonding with Zen helped me rediscover my role in the family. I think there is something about being far away that messes with your head that can only be reset by going home..
Leaving was tough but we made the most of the time I was there. I know I need to make sure I go home regularly if only for the sake of my sanity.
For a week I could not stay awake after 7:30 p.m. Finally, I am back on west coast time with my battery recharged and ready for the adventure 2013 has in store for me.
